


EXTREME TRIPLE CHOCOLATE NESTS

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Bad Cooking, Cooking, Cooking Lessons, Crack, Cute, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Easter, Easter Eggs, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Phan Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 14:33:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7622341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Phil cook some Easter nests.</p><p>Or.</p><p> </p><p>The entire "Easter Baking-EXTREME TRIPLE EASTER NESTS" video in fanfic form.</p>
            </blockquote>





	EXTREME TRIPLE CHOCOLATE NESTS

**Author's Note:**

> The firs chapter is only the first 3:20 of the 13:17 video.  
> The second chapter should be out pretty soon.

„Grow a flower, grab your fluffiest lamb and give birth to an egg, cause it’s time for some easter baking!“ Said Phil as he introduced his fans to a new baking video.

„BLEEEE!“ A sound was heard in the background, resembling some sort of animal.

“Introducing my Eastery assistant!” Phil exclaimed, pointing his arms to the right.

Suddenly a person in a giant rabbit costume appeared on screen as Phil chuckled and said:

“That is terrifying! That is actually a thing of nightmares.” 

The rabbit creature stepped closer to the camera and brought its face up to the lens.

“Dan please, say something.” As Phil said that, unease riddling his voice, Dan turned to him and reached out his are to touch Phil.

As Dan stepped closer Phil released a high pitched squeal and pushed Dan to the side, making his escape and running off screen. As he was gone a laugh could be heard followed by a ‘I don’t like it’.

“Don’t’ think I’ll use that!” Dan said as he took the head of the rabbit costume off.

“But can I keep this?” He asked.

“You’re covered in fluff, it’s like you’ve suddenly aged twenty years.”

“Thanks.” Dan says sarcastically.

Phil then starts to gently pick off all the fluff on Dan’s head while silently chuckling.

“I’ll just pick the-I’ll just pick the gray hairs off like a monkey.”

“This is the Dan and Phil monkey pruning fanfic come to life.” Dan says silently as he stares at the floor.

The video the cuts off to Phil standing alone in front of the camera with Dan walking in while silently shouting:

“It’s okay! I found a flower crown!” As he walks into the frame he snaps his fingers and points to the flower crown with a smug expression on his face.

“You are Easter to the max!”

“Still seasonal head gear, I’m Easter as fuck.”

“You can’t say that on this channel!”

“It was bleeped.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Nice Easter kitchen you’ve decorated here Dan!” Phil says excitedly as he points to the stove behind them.

“Well thank you very much! I’ve tried very hard to make the most of what Easter themed items we had around the house.” As Dan says that he points to the rabbit stickers that are all over the stove and fridge. 

“What? A printer?”

“Shut up!” Dan says, raising his finger to Phil in a scolding manner while laughing.

“Also this chick looks like it wants me to die.” 

“Oh yeah.”

“DIE PHILIP DIE.” Phil says in a high pitched voice, trying to somewhat impersonate the chick.

“That was weird.” He then says, his voice completely casual.

The sudden change in tone makes them both burst out laughing.

“He is such a strange person.” Dan says while laughing.

The screen then cuts of to Dan sliding into the shot while snapping his fingers and holding two thumbs up’s.

“So what are we baking Phil?”

“We’re going to be doing an Easter classic with a Phil spin on it.”

“Of course. And what is that?”

“Extreme Easter Nests!” Phil says while menacing music plays in the background.

“So Easter nests are basically chocolatey, shredded wheats mixed together?”

“Yes!”

“What makes them extreme?”

“They have three tipes of chocolate!” Phil then raises three fingers to the camera as he looks at Dan, waiting for his reaction on his brilliant, Eastery , idea.

Dan then- as expected in their situation- laughs.

“It’s gonna be a layered, chocolate, Easter nest. You’re not ever ready for how Easter this is gonna be.” 

“Y-you’ve just taken something and tripled it?” 

“I have!”

“EXTREME EASTER NESTS!” Dan says loudly, raising his arm up and then resting it on his right hip.

“So what’s the first step Phil?” 

“As with everything in life! Preparation! Dan, what is the name of a mother sheep?” Phil said as he pointed his finger at Dan in question.

“A-a, um, ewe.”

A ding can be heard, confirming that Dan answered correctly.

“What is the name of the thing you write when you’re about to die?” 

“A-uh-d- will?”

Another ding.

“And what is the thing you do to bread to make it good?”

“Knead?”

Another ding.

“YOU WILL NEED!” Phil exclaims as he points at the camera.

Dan then scoffs.

“How good was that?!”

“I quit, I quit,..” Dan walks off screen. 

The video cuts again. The image displaying Dan with a pan with the text “A PAN” below him. He then flips the pan and proceeds to say.

“A pan! Not JaPAN, A PAN!” 

“The pan.” Phil points at the pan in Dan’s hands.

The screen cuts off again, showing Dan with two bowls on his chest, meant to act as some sort of boobs. The text on screen they saying “SOME BOWLS”.

“Some bowls-no nO NO, you will not disgrace the Easter Bunny!”

It cuts again, this time to Dan holding a small scale, both of them caressing it softly. 

The text says “A SCALE”.

“The grand Easter Weighing Machine.”

Another cut.

“A Baking tray!” Dan says as he points at Phil, who is holding a very floppy, rubber tray.

“Real silicone.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah, it doesn’t have to be.”

 

“You can’t give yourself button-“

Phil’s sentence is then cut off by Dan whining in disappointment.

 

“Some Easter baking cases.”

Dan then slides in, 9 baking cases atop of his head. He then takes them off and says:

“Wait, aren’t these just Halloween ones we used last year, aren’t they a bit depressing for Easter?”

“Uhhhhh, I’m recycling.” 

“Ohh, okay.” Dan says sarcastically while walking off screen for the 100th time this video.

 

“Carved out of your grandfather leg. It’s a wooden spoon.”

“INGREDIENTS”

“99 grams of shredded wheat.”

“Oh my god, this stuff is so flakey.” Dan said as he looked at the ground, small bits of wheat all over it.

“Ahh, It’s everywhere.”

“Can’t we just say ‘100 grams’?”

“Well I already nibbled a bit on the edge, so.”

“80 grams of white chocolate, milk chocolate and dark chocolate.” While Phil was talking Dan threw all the chocolate right at Phil, causing him to almost drop them but then somehow catch them all.

“That’s triple the people! Can YOU HANDLE BAKING THIS EXTREME?!” Dan then jumps back, a serious expression on his face.

“I told you they were extreme nests.” 

“A table spoon and a half of golden syrup.” Dan points at Phil, who has a can of golden syrup right on his head.

“Because, you know, when you’re tryina’ get golden syrup off a spoon you can totally measure halfs can you? Good luck with that.”

“75 grams of softened butter.”

“H-how does one soften butter?”

“Just put it in your pocket.” After Phil is done saying that Dan makes a face of disgust.

“I don’t recommend putting butter in you pocket.”

“Works tho.”

“Don’t do that.”

And yet another cut.

“And birthed from an actual Unicorn.” Phil says as he shows the camera a small opened bag on Mini Eggs.

“To decorate. Some Mini Eggs. OH WAIT are they opened?!”

“Um, maybe,..”

“Were you testing a couple to see if they were of the right standard to our baking.?”

“I might have had two.” Phil says as he raises two fingers to the camera. 

“That’s very noble of you Phil.”

As Dan walks of screen Phil raises 4 more fingers with a guilty expression.

“And there’s your ‘ingreds’, ready to go?”

“Yeah.”

“LETS BAKE!”

“There’s not actually any baking involved.”

“No it’s just kind of like-“

“Mixing the-“

“Melting and mixing and chilling.”

“Yeah.”

An awkward 3 second silence looms above them.

How pleasing.

“This entire video is a lie.”

**Author's Note:**

> TIME TO GET BAKING


End file.
